Poems by Katja Carmella Grynberg, poet and child of survivors, b. 1946, Hanover, Germany. Immigrated to Australia with her parents 1948.

"A Far Away Land"

You filled us with your anger As we choked on icy fear We thought our guts would spill If we shed a tiny tear You pushed you shoved And we lurched You yelled, you screamed Our hearts fell apart That was way back then We, not quite ten Didn't understand Cold stones in stomachs Rocks in heads Were ricochets From a far away land

Katja Grynberg with her mother in Hanover,1946

You sat behind your newspaper In singlet and shorts Told us to eat While our insides churned 'It's dinner time' you slurped As we blocked our ears Desperate to quiet Waves of heaving fears 'Eat Eat my children! Why aren't you hungry? Years and years We had nothing but salt', You raged Blindly turning another page

Katja Grynberg today

Never mind how the heart burns
Forget that the head aches
Try to remember
All this belongs
To a far away land
Where the sun forgot to smile
Where rain couldn't wash all that was to fall

But butterflies promised
To return once more
When children learnt to cry
Over nonsense
At the end of the world
Where kookaburras always laugh

"Smile for me"

'Perhaps I shouldn't tell you this
I don't want you to be sad
It's over now
I want you to be glad'
She'd apologize
While I insisted she tell
What I never remembered

It was as though I should
Tattoo in my head
Where and when it all was
As though I were living proof
Of those places, those spaces
Even if far away
Almost too long ago

After all that had happened
Liberation brought
Threats of Siberia
'Sign!' 'Sign!' they screamed
'Send us, send us!
Please
At least we'd be dead together.'

So how could I go to her with Rusty Bubbles
With tattle tales?
How could I add pain?
I was the one who had to bring smiles
Make her free to live again…

"Mama"

I held back sadness
she her grief
as history's blooded cloak
wrapped us
tightly like a shroud
More and more
it was impossible
to say the ordinary
aloud

I learnt to watch her eyes
tried to make her smile
I listened for her sigh
wanting her laughter
for even a moment
And I tried oh so hard
not to add anguish
I needed her
to be whole
once more

Together we learnt
too well
that only deep inside
was the place
safe enough
for both to hide