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These
excerpts are from a letter written by Anka Fischer
to her cousin Franta Justitz in New York and translated
into English from Czech. Anka arrived in Australia
in 1949 and passed away in 1989.
Prague, 24 November 1945
You could not possibly understand the way we
felt when we saw your handwriting after so many years.
We are unable to comprehend that there were some lucky
people who lived in other parts of the world and were
spared the horrors of humiliation which are beyond
description. People in the free world did not have
to wear the Jewish star, they were not degraded or
deprived, they could visit cinemas, theatres, walk
freely through parks without fearing for their lives.
This
is over now, but our minds are burdened by bad memories
and they linger on. We would like to describe our
sad fate to you but it is so very painful, since it
all happened only a short time ago. Our health has
not improved to a normal state yet. Regarding our
health, I can only say and tell you about Vera, who
returned in a terrible state. The doctors did not
give much hope for her recovery, they thought she
could only last for 2-3 days. She had jaundice, her
entire body was covered with horrible boils and she
looked like a skeleton. You cannot possibly visualise
how she looked, her weight was only 30kg. Today Vera
is an unbelievable and wonderful person, relatively
well, she just turned 31. My heart aches to tell you
about this 31 year old. She has great difficulty getting
up from a chair, she looks somehow odd, like a disabled
cripple. She suffers from severe rheumatism, this
being an everlasting memory of the past.
I wonder whether you remember me? I too, like Vera,
was in many concentration camps. I was in the 'so
very famous' death march, without shoes, without a
coat, no undergarments and no food or water. We were
made to walk for six weeks through Poland and Germany,
criss-cross for days and days and countless kilometres,
from 2 February until late March. We walked through
heavy storms and snow. Finally we were allowed to
rest overnight in the open before arriving in Bergen
Belsen the death camp. There they had a motto which
said: "Hey! You! Rot in your own dirt!"
Hundreds and hundreds were shoved and pushed into
wooden barracks. To sit or lie down was impossible.
Upon our arrival many were trampled to death and many
suffocated. That was our so-called accommodation.
We were kept there for one month, 4 - 6 days without
any food or water. The worst was when we were stricken
with dysentery and we had no toilets. The sad fact
is that we had no control over our bowel movements
and we were virtually drowning in our own faeces and
urine for the entire month. Then came the lice. I
was covered with thousands of them and typhus raged
and took over.
Masses of tortured dead bodies were lying next to
us, they were beaten up in indescribable ways. Many
were our friends. It did not take long before these
pitiful bodies decomposed. One week later they were
dragged out and thrown onto the heaps of dead. It
really is a laughing matter, magazines and books write
about the miseries in concentration camps. Nobody
but nobody, unless a survivor can comprehend what
German culture means! I myself was also thrown out
onto a large 2-storey high mountain of dead bodies.
Having been unconscious for two days, they took me
away to join the dead ones. Luckily at "5 minutes
to 12" we were finally liberated.
I was unconscious at the time and cannot remember
the event. The British soldiers arrived. They tried
to resuscitate people from the 2-storey high mountains
of dead. We were completely naked, not a stitch on
our bodies. I showed a sign of life. I woke up from
the coma and found myself in an English hospital.
I was weak and sick with typhus, they kept me in the
hospital for nine weeks. My weight was 32kg. When
I was given the possibility and was able to write,
I wrote a letter to Jarmila. I told her that I was
in Bergen Belsen and I asked her to trace Vera through
the Red Cross. I had no news of her for several years.
Well! Can you imagine! A Czech courier arrived one
day and brought a parcel with the most vital provisions
and also a letter written by Vera. She had survived
the same concentration camps as me. She was also in
Bergen Belsen, but when I arrived there, she was moved
away. It was possible not to have seen each other,
the female prisoners were in large groups of 1000
and were behind fences which were charged with high
voltage electricity.
The courier who brought me the parcel, told me that
Vera had arranged for me to be picked up by private
car which would bring me to Prague the following day.
All this happened all of a sudden, we met again -
and alive - standing there face to face. Dear Franz,
believe me, my hands still shake and my heart beats
fast whilst I am writing about this episode. Vera,
the poor darling, suffered more than I did. Over the
past years I always considered her as my beautiful,
vivacious and clever sister. This was the way I remembered
her. But now: an old, wrinkled, shabby-looking widow
stood in front of me. Her beautiful hair was shaven,
her hands were raw, her skin was red with spots and
sores, her feet were swollen - but she was alive!
Franz! That was how we met again. From all our family,
only the two of us are alive.
We try very hard to fit into everyday life again.
But it is not easy. Anti-semitism is flourishing.
Many people are disappointed and it disturbs them
that some of our Jewish people have survived and returned
home
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